Ending Start
by Queen of the Highway
Summary: Pre SAW II. Amanda's thoughts before starting her game with Jigsaw...


**A/N:** I needed to write something else, just to shake my writers' block. I hope you like it anyways... review, please. I know not everything here isn't correct, but it's not supposed to be. Also, if you can't guess, everything is in Amanda's point of view.

My lonely eyes stared out the window, watching the almost empty road beside the old bar. Occasionally a car would go past, unknowing of my presence. Did anyone know I was watching? I wasn't watching anyone or anything in particular; just… looking around. I let my head rest on the cold glass; I continued staring out into what seemed like nowhere. It was a nice morning, to me at least. It was pretty early; the sky was light and a bit foggy. The rain drops on the window created a beautiful scene. I tousled my short, choppy, rich brown hair and rubbed my eyes. I was still very much in sleep-mode. A person was walking down the sidewalk beside the road. They had a big backpack on and were holding what looked like a newspaper over their head to hide from the rain. I couldn't tell much about them; the road wasn't that close to this house. I wondered who they were… what was their story… were they better off than me? It was hard to say. I squirmed in the little black chair I was sitting on, I wanted to get up… but I didn't know what I was going to do. The scenery outside was strangely relaxing, I decided to watch a little longer. The pattering of the rain against the window was nice, too. It was predictable… it was safe. 

"Amanda," his sudden voice startled me. 

I shook a bit, but didn't answer him. He put his hand on my shoulder lightly. He'd done so much for me, John had. He was like the father I never had. But under that kind exterior… he was hiding things, and that scared me. I trusted and believed in him though, no questions asked. I remember feeling like I was in a small cult, like it was something wrong. But it's not… saving lives isn't wrong… letting them live, not truly happy, is wrong. 

"What?" I asked, turning to face him. 

"I'm going to need you soon… everything's in place, we just have to get our subjects."

I nodded and got up. John left the room and went downstairs. I felt like crying, John was dying, and I couldn't do anything about it. He was getting paler every day, weaker… I hoped he could hang on, just a little longer… for me. As I brushed through my hair, I thought about Adam and Lawrence. It's not like I didn't feel bad for Lawrence too, but I was focused on Adam. He was still in there, was he alive? He was such a nice guy, I never understood why John had chosen him. Maybe he wasn't exactly going anywhere in life, but you never know. It's not like he was what I used to be, a sad little drug addict. I know why John chose me, and I'm glad he did – but why Adam? I'd never ask him about it, but every day I'd wonder. 

Once I'd finished getting ready, I went downstairs to join John. He was sitting at the table, sipping water and reading the newspaper. Just seeing him there, looking so... normal. You would never guess that he was behind the "Jigsaw" traps. 

"When are we leaving?" I asked, starting to get anxious.

He finished his drink and sighed; he looked genuinely tired.

"I thought I could do it... but I was foolish. I can't risk it, Amanda. You'll have to get them by yourself..." He said, coughing roughly afterward.

I hesitated. "Okay, I understand..." I was fighting back tears. "...But how am I going to bring them all back here in time?"

"I've figured out that angle. One of the subjects - Obi - will bring Laura, Addison, Gus, Xavier, and Jonas. So that's six taken care of..." He paused to cough again. "You'll have to get Daniel, though. It shouldn't be very hard."

I managed a weak smile, was I supposed to smile? I didn't know.

"Alright... and after that..." 

"All you have to do is put on a good show." He finished my sentence. 

"Right, I'll be back ASAP." I said quickly, picking up a note sitting on the table. 

As I left the house I scanned the note. It was the address for Daniel, Detective Matthews's son. I absolutely hated Eric Matthews in every way possible. He took my life from me, everything I had was lost. It's the only reason I even started drugs, all because of that malicious bastard. I hope he fails his test, at least Daniel won't have to see him again, or I. 

I got into the old, black car and set the list in the glove department. My 'costume' was in the passenger seat, I hated that thing. Another thing John hid from me, why a deranged pig mask? Even a hockey mask would be better than this, not as heavy, either. The cloak made things a bit awkward, too. But it didn't matter, I was to continue John's work after... he... died. That was hard to think about, him not being there. It would be lonely, no one there to talk to... what if I slipped back into old habits? No, I couldn't - even if I tried. 

"There's no turning back..." His words echoed quietly in my mind. 

I was already at the Matthews's. I parked my car about a block away, not really in public view. I took out the mask and cloak and got out of the car. The plan was to break into the house by entering through the back door, but that soon changed. The front door flew open and Daniel exited the house, looking upset. I was too far away to tell what he was yelling back into the house, but it wasn't pleasant. Then Eric appeared in front of the door, also yelling. He was much louder than Daniel, I caught a bit of what he was saying.

"Fine! Leave, then!" He said furiously, slamming the door behind him. 

Daniel continued angrily walking down the street, kicking every rock in his way. Now this complicated an already complicated plan. I can't go around in broad daylight wearing a pig mask and sticking people with hypodermic syringes! I decided to follow him in my car, as far away as I could. After what seemed like forever, he stopped in front of a hiking trail and then entered. I quickly parked my car near the pathway and hopped out, costume in hand. Instead of walking on the narrow trail, I followed him in the bushes. I put the pig mask on and threw the cloak over fast, then continued to stalk him. It was perfect, no one else was here except Daniel and I. I got closer, closer... I pulled out the syringe and my breathing grew faster. Suddenly I heard a twig snap under my foot, that did it. Daniel turned around instantly and stared right in my direction, I couldn't tell if he could see me. It was now or never, I jumped out of the bushes and stuck him in the thigh with the syringe. He screamed and struggled, then fell unconscious. I felt a bit guilty, but it's not like he was in any real danger. He was putting on a show, like me, except he didn't know it. It was his horrible dad's game, not his. He was hard to lift, but I managed to drag him back to my car with no one seeing anything. I felt really back for Daniel... in ways we were a lot alike. We both had a troubled upbringing, mostly because of our dads. We'd both been in trouble with the law... except he wasn't framed and sent to jail wrongly. Huh, I guess he can ruin a complete strangers' life, but not Daniel's... even though he already has. I took off the stuffy mask and cloak and threw them into the backseat. I let Daniel lay in the passenger seat, looking very much sedated. His arm was laying on the gear shift, so I moved it over a bit. As I did, I noticed little scars on his wrists - he cut himself. Another thing we had in common... 

I drove back to the house and attempted to carry Daniel in, but I had to drag him again. When I entered, John was wearing an oxygen mask. I cringed and set Daniel down. 

"Done," I said, waiting for John's reply. 

He removed the oxygen mask and coughed afterward. "Good. Obi has already been here, he's now sitting in the other house with the rest, unconscious."

I paused before answering. "So, it's starting now?"

"Soon, yes. Before you go, take the antidote. Once you set Daniel down there, use this to render yourself unconscious. You'll wake up the same time as the others, so don't forget your cover. Go now, when you arrive I'll start the gas flow." He said, getting up.

"Alright... bye..." I murmured. 

I didn't like the idea of being locked in house full of nerve gas. Even if I wouldn't be effected, it freaked me out. Then there were the other people in it... they could hurt me. I stopped pondering and took the antidote and ether. I had to drag Daniel away again, it was starting to be a real chore. Once I was at the house, I saw the main room with everyone laying there... unknowing of what they were about to go through. I set Daniel down in the corner and injected myself with the antidote. I was about to knock myself out with the ether, when I remembered Adam. He was still down there... in the bathroom, alive or dead? I needed to know. I climbed into the basement and through the trap door. It smelled horrible here, even worse than before. I flicked on the lights and saw the disturbing scene; Lawrence's foot still chained up... Zepp's ugly corpse... and Adam. I checked his pulse... nothing. I started to cry, poor Adam... he didn't deserve this...

I left the bathroom in a hurry and resumed my place, taking out the ether. I was such a wreck, scared and confused. I started to question what path I'd chosen, what future I'd taken. Was John really what I'd been looking for? Was this philosophy even correct...? My mind was full of unanswered questions as I drifted into sleep, wishing for the first time since I'd started this quest that I didn't ever want to wake up again.

**A/N 2: **I like Adam a lot, but I also like Amanda (as characters). So I like the 'Amanda didn't kill Adam he was already dead' scenario. Okay, go review! Thanks for reading. 


End file.
